Its been a while

Life has taken a toll on the Reject,
So much has happened that I cant even find time
to post my rejections, its Ok, there is always time to get rejected.
A new post is coming soon ;)

And Then I Realized

“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories."

-Dorothy Parker

This morning on a nice adventure a nice thought happened, “why do I waste my time with losers?” it occurred when my morning adventure had taken into a effect at 2, when G was drunk and decided to text me. In other words I knowly became a booty call.

The background on G is simple, I met him on a drunk crazy night downtown my friends approached his, and naturally he and I (both the shy ones of the group) finally approached each other and then that WAS the suppose to be the end.

Until three weeks later when G realized he had my number in his phone but had no clue who I was, he couldn't remember me but assumed that if he had my number in his phone that must I must have been some kind of cute, so he asked me out on a date and I took a million years (three weeks) to accept, now one would think that this story has a cute little ending to it but let me bust your pretty little romantic bubble, there is nothing cute about this story, our date was cute we went for drinks to come cool bar down the street from his house and then I being a native of the city that we reside in, showed him an awesome coffee shop that I have been too since my sophomore year of college. At the coffee shop we talked and flirted, he leaned over the table and made a comment about wanting to try my lip color and then kissing me before I had time to process what he meant, which it was at the time reminded me  of a cute throw up worthy chick flick movie move, cute yet totally not well thought out at all (our waitress came to killed the moment).

After that, the sexual tension began to build up and then it was time to go, and then the hot and heavy kissing started happening and then the next thing I know we were in the backseat of my car and we have finished having sex. and there you have ladies and gentlemen, Reject did the dreaded hook up on the first date sin. yea it happens...sue me.

After that text, from G were not as frequent we texted each other from time to time asking what one another was up too and what were the plans for the day, but the deed had been done, there was no mystery there, and honestly I was OK with that mystery not being there.

after two weeks off boring text conversations, and me being sexually frustrated it was a good thing that G had decided to booty call me.

After all it happened the day after S had came to me and he was never really good at making the first move when it comes to being touchy-feely.

After plans had been set in stone, I spent the next 4 hours of my shitty night shift waiting for get off so G and I could get our morning ritual over with, then that time came,  I had arrived to G’s apartment in an easy access dress that was still tasteful because no one wants to look like a walk of shame in the morning.

G answered the door wearing boxers (and looking sickly thin, he is after all 6’4 and all limbs and bones, compared to my Curviness) and wearing a beard that I don't remember him ever sporting since I have met him and honestly I didn't like it, he looked like a shitty  self absorbed hipster (he is despite his protest that he isn't) I had preferred the clean shaven look, but like most guys G could a fucking fuck what I thought about his horrible beard.

While the sex was good(OK amazing) it was the after, that fucked him over for life.

We.didnt.cuddle. and now Reject hates him for life.

He literally rolled away away from me and laid with his back towards facing me.

Um what the entire fuck.

I'm pretty sure he was the one that reached out to me, I laid in the bed sitting up looking down at him like the hell, while he laid eyes closed making shitty jokes with his northern crude and cockiness.

While he thought such things were acceptable and then dared to be slightly offended when I announced that I was about to leave, he was hungover, rude and HE DIDN'T EVEN CUDDLE. even one night stands cuddle with me.

Listen guys, one simply does not cuddle after sex unless you really a douche and G is a douche. To not offend G I decided to lay in his bed cold and slightly pissed, to make matters worse I had found my self dosing off only be awaken by him yelling at me that I snore like a walrus, thus making me instantly get up to, take his shirt off put my own and leave, before I exited his room, he sweetly asked me to come give him a kiss goodbye, which I had no problem telling him no. While in my head thinking, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you.

I then slammed his door walked to my car with my head held high and rode to get breakfast taco’s all after sitting in my car and deleting his number. One does not act like a douche bag and think he will be welcomed back into the life of Reject.

As I was driving listening to Dan Auchbach from Pandora... (seriously best station ever.)

Had I had thought, Had I been 19  I was stayed, been sad and masked it by making some witty joke and then acting like a desperate idiot and spending time trying to get him to pay attention to me, but after 2 years of bullshit and being bitter against half of the male population, Reject was not going to take it, reject was not going to lay there, be insulted and make him think that it was OK, I'm doing this for the future girls that come in G’s life, I took one for the team, hopefully G learned the lesson that, G does not act like douche bag and get girls.

It had occurred me, that G was under the douche complex, which means that at some point in his life, he thought that treating girls like shit will simply make them want him more, WRONG. actually not wrong some girls actually enable this behavior, while for a moment I did enable the behavior, I shook the stupidity cloud  I was under from the brain I should have used in the first place and realized what was going on, I decided right then and there I was going to burst his bubble.

Here is a public service announcement to you douche bags: We’re not going to take it, no really the reign of hot douche bags is over, time to get knocked down a few steps.

Sigh... to be a 21 year old to learn these lessons the hard way.

Anyone else have any of those thought provoking moments?

10 steps Backwards

“I know now that there is no one thing that is true -- it is all true”

- Ernest Hemingway

So here it is, there is always that one guy (or girl).

You know that someone who can be shitty to you, do shitty things to you, make you cry, hurt you and melt your heart into a million pieces in a bad way, but then that is also that same person that made you laugh, made you smile, at some point made your heart flutter, they made you feel so alive that you forget everything shitty they have ever done to you.

For me that’s S.

S is the shitty, amazing guy who after 4 years can still muzzle his way into my ice block that before I was thrown into the real world was an heart. S was that guy who can just look at me and

I would forget who I’ am (I admit I still do that).

Sure he's not a model and some people wonder "why?" but that doesn't matter they don't have that bond that S and I have, S and I have always been strange when it comes to each other to one we can be appear to be cold towards each other never really showing affection but that's how we have always been even we did like each other and it was obvious. 

To be honest S and I are not affectionate people we don't act lovey dovey in public, we do kiss, we do cuddle,but its more of the company that we share, I like having him around even when he is being a asshole (85% of the time).

We can go months or in this case a year and still rotate back to each other, usually I'm the stubborn one who refuses to budge but once S gets out that car that drove literally about 50 miles to see me (we live an hour apart) and walks towards me to hug me, its over, I cant push him away.  

And here I'm at work about to risk it all just to see him for a few seconds. You know why because fuck my heart that refuses to listen to my mind, my heart is beating way too fast I should let S go, I know he has a GF, I mean I think he likes her, but why is it when S gets high or drunk why am I the first person he runs too? (he does this even when he's sober, I have found that he does this) I mean he seriously drives miles to see me, only to tease me, avoid talking about past and have no sex (seriously it took us two years to even get to third base and it was because I practically made him man up!)

So am I?

I’m Reject, a twenty something who blends in a city of lovers, dreamers, haters, fighters and struggler's, we all want something, we all to feel something we all someone to love us, even if it means risking it all.

So here is the deal this is a non judgement blog, we’re all human, we all make mistakes, read mine and totally feel free to roll your eyes and say “amen sister I feel you” or say “WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO run run run!” either way read my mistakes and understand.

I'm a girl in her twenties trying to understand how to navigate life right I may not get it right sometimes but that's OK, I'm here to learn I’m here for you to laugh at me, cry with me and understand.

But here it is I’m Reject nice to meet you.